Monday, May 9, 2011

Full Circle

Its been since February, exactly February 1st actually, since I have had an encounter with one of those kind of people that leaves a lasting impression on you. Ya know, someone who you can't forget because of the life they lived and the stories they've told, or the lessons they taught you, or the fun you've had together. Its been since Hernan in Montevideo. Hes now being awesome and living on some boat in Guatemala with our friend Juan. Lucky suckers. I feel that I am due for a new life unforgettable. Maybe it will be someone I already know, someone I will get close to, or maybe I will just meet someone. These things are random. I just hope that, at times, I make the sort of impression on other people like Hernan, or Manasseh, or Abby, or Israel have made on my life.
Its getting cold here. Usually the days are warm, like warm enough for dresses. But if you are not home by sunset...you are going to never want to wear a dress again. The houses here don't have heating, right? Its too expensive down here. So when I get home, even in the middle of the day, I put on a huge wool sweater I bought in Chiloé and my long underwear. Then I lay in bed and do my homework or waste time on the internet, while usually drinking coffee or mate so that I don't fall asleep. We fell back an hour 2 nights ago and now I am only 3 hours ahead of the West coast and back on track with the East.

Here's whats to come:
May- Headed to Buenos Aires again. I realize I could have made a better decision. I could have gone to Peru, or Bolivia, or San Pedro de Atacama here in Chile, but I didn't. Haha. I am going to Buenos Aires because I have many people there I care about. Its an awesome country, Argentina. Its cheap...and the meat is just toooooo good. I hope to visit ESMA, which is the Auschwitz of Argentina. More than 30,000 people were killed or "disappeared" during the military government of the 70s. ESMA was the main torture center. Only blocks away from where the main 1978 world cup games were played. I am taking a class on Argentina, and it sucks...in the sense that its really poorly organized and I have zero incentive to go to class. But, its good to know a little bit of history on a country that had an experience distinct, but also similar to that of its neighbor, Chile. While only 3,000 people were killed or disappeared in Chile, 30,000 in Argentina. Many could say things were worse in Argentina, which is a valid argument, but I don't believe there is any comparison to be made. Killing whatever number of people cannot be justified. The oppression that took place in these two countries, and many others, was done under the hand of the U.S., and under the eyes of the entire world. Its so strange to me how we can look back at these things now and apologize for them, yet we still do them today. And if we are the ones culpable, we are those watching from afar. Nope, Darfur doesn't matter. I think that might still make us culpable. Sure, we have plenty to deal with already with debt and Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Libya...etc, etc., but it doesn't stop us from putting our nose where it doesn't belong.
Sometimes I want to believe that the U.S. does things like this out of compassion. You know like people with their religion put it on you, not because they are wacko, but because they truly believe it is right and it will work things out for the best. That is one thing I have seen in non-believers/atheists/agnostics...and whatever you want to call someone who doesn't believe in God. They feel as if the religious are forcing their opinions on them as if we were having some sort of a political debate. Its not like that. After years of battling this, thinking that those who are religious just want you inducted into their church and their morals, I realized I was completely wrong. Those religious nuts we always talk about (at least most of them) are telling you what the think out of love. They want you to know what they have gained from their relationship with God and that what they have gained is everything to them. They believe that if they can live a life so happily, so can anyone else. Now while this may not convince you, it should give you some perspective. So back to the U.S.. I want to believe that the US goes into other countries to install democracy because it will make those countries better, more prosperous, and stable. But then all of that theory of Realism that has been engrained in my head for the past 4 years tells me, nope. The U.S. is just doing it for itself, for its security, its stability, and its prosperity. I am proud to live in a country with the freedoms and opportunities available, yet I am ashamed to come from a country that's government cares nothing about anyone but itself.
Oh man, sorry to be a complainer.
June- One of my newest best friends is coming back. We're doing a full circle. I knew Kirsty would be in my program in Valparaíso last semester before I came because we had mutual friends. I had no idea we would get along so well. She was the first I met. We went to a bar here in Santiago a day before our program started. An Irish pub to be exact. We ate these delicious fries covered in spicy cheese. I have yet to locate anything like them. We talked about past or current loves, we talked about God and how we feel closest to Him in nature. She may be one of the first girls I know that isn't in the circle of "christians" who gets what its like to be me. In the sense that we totally believe in God, yet we don't really know how that is suppose to translate in our lives. Maybe its that we don't want to know how it translates because its not the easy way. Before she left and still today on skype we talk about the love we've had for other people, how it has destroyed us, and how still hopelessly we want it back. As much as we say we wouldn't crawl back to them broken because its not the right thing, we couldn't help it. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am wrong. She has been one of the most inspirational people in the last 5 years of my life. Plus...we can have an entire conversation just quoting the Youtube video "drinking out of cups."
I come home in exactly 51 days. CRAY CRAY. (Crazy). I will leave my comments about this out of this blog.